A Haunting

It's around Halloween time, so my friends and I decided it'd be super fun to go to a haunted house/forest place.

When I heard the idea at first I was like...

And so we went on a dark, warm night.

And I was so excited...

And then we went inside.

And then I screamed. A LOT.

I screamed at almost everything. I screamed at every noise, every person in a costume, and every time my hand lost contact with the wall...

And then its over. And I take a deep breathe.

And I'm like...

And my friends are all deaf from my hypersonic attack on their eardrums.

And they're like...

But they love me anyway.

          And that's why they are the best.

My Thought Process

This is me in class...

This is my professor, teaching his stuff...

This is him asking the class a question that he just taught...

"Oh I know this. The answer is sunlight. Its so obvious."

"Why is nobody raising their hands? I'm the only one that knows? No, I can't be. Maybe the answer isn't obvious. The answer isn't sunlight."

"I could've sworn it was sunlight. Someone raise your hand! Please just raise your hand! Oh my gosh, what is the answer?!"

...........

"Arrrrggghhghghghahahghah!"

LOSE.

Routines....

I swear this happens to me at least once a day.

30 Seconds later....

Sandwich...

Some people get strange cravings for stuff.
Like some prego ladies get cravings for laundry detergent. or chalk.

I believe that a certain guy in my English class has a strange craving for elephant dung.

Unfortunately for him and fortunately for everyone else, the nearest elephants are locked up in a zoo.
Fortunately for him and unfortunately for everyone else, he found something very similar.
Its a big nasty, triple-decker sandwich with a smell that could kill.

Yes. Everyday during the middle of class he whips out this monstrosity and lets the stench diffuse throughout the classroom. Sad, I know.

I think I found the recipe for his concoction...
First he takes 3 slices of bread that he baked in his armpit...

Then he thinly slices some meat off of some piece of decaying roadkill.

Then he digs up a ball of cheese that he keeps in his dirty clothes hamper and slices off a big ol slice.

I call this sandwich, the bane of my education, but you can call it whatever you want.

My english teach is really great and all but she doesn't. Say. ANYTHING.

I think that she's too in distracted by her love of teaching that she forgets that her students need to be living to teach them.

Oh, and one more thing.
He bounces.
When he eats the sandwich.
He bounces.


I would've put a picture, but it would've turned out inappropriate I think...

Boo?

MyfriendandI were driving home from school when a song started playin on the radio.

My friend had an issue with lyric comprehension.
A funny issue...

Trypanophobia

Hello. Today I'm going to teach you a new word.
Trypanophobia
(Tri-paaan-'o'-fo-bee-ya)
Trypanophobia is one of my many fears. But it seems to be the most reasonable.
Trypanophobia is the fear of needles.

This fear was brought up to my brain yesterday as I was told by my mom I needed a flu shot.
I felt, oh I don't know, like I was going to be murdered.

Suddenly all the happy things that happened in my life disappeared.
And I felt all alone.
And scared.
And cold.
And alone.

And suddenly I was being wisked away to my doom...

Once I showed up at the ''clinic,'' a ''nurse'' took me to a ''room'' and sat me down to get ready for the shot.

I thought about offering her a bribe to just let me go home and forge the records.

*feel free to substitute the words "torture chamber" "executioner" and "grave"

So anyway, I decided my best option was to hold my breathe and look away.

She touches my arm and says, "you need to relax honey."

"Sorry," I say. On the inside I'm thinking, "I'm going to rip your face off."

Then I heard her grasp her needle....

After that, everything was a blur. I'm pretty sure that I'm lucky to still be alive.
The damage is done, and I'm still recovering.
Its mostly emotional damage.
Don't worry, I'll be ok.