Colds are Curses

So not too long ago, I was fighting a cold. Colds are the stupidest little days of sickness. I mean, they aren't even legitimate illness, they exist just to annoy people. If I get sick, I'd rather have some sickness that gives me an excuse to sit in bed, watch movies, and ask people to get me food. 

Colds just suck. They come at the worst possible times (like when you have multiple tests and school projects) but they don't give you any excuses. I mean, can you imagine telling your professor, "Oh sorry, I didn't get my homework done, I was too busy blowing my nose and feeling tired"? No. Colds are stupid because you have to still do stuff even though your nose runs enough to be considered a small waterfall and you can't go five seconds without clearing your throat (plus every time you clear your throat people expect you to make an announcement or something). 

Anyway, I'm waaay too impatient to be slowed down by a cold, so when I do have a cold, I do everything I can do to get rid of it. I find those vitamins that have been sitting in the cupboard that I was supposed to be taking everyday and I catch up on them; I drink enough water to put a camel to shame; and I wash my hands with the likeness of an individual with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. But nothing speeds up the process. Suddenly I find myself taking all sorts of advice that sound somewhat reasonable, and eventually unreasonable. Eat only chicken noodle soup? Okay I'll try it! Drink a bottle of honey? Done and done. Rub cow manure in the shape of a crucifix on my bare chest? Well...

Anyway, eventually I surrender to the fact that the cold doesn't take orders from nobody. I drudge around life miserably, not ill enough to generate sympathy, but too ill to maintain the enthusiasm to complete daily tasks. Then suddenly I wake up one morning, and its a miracle. I'm healed! And I'm so happy and the world is sunshine and rainbows, and then I realize how bad I did on all my work while my brain was clouded by the cold....asdlkfj#$%^&yfksg!