Sandwich...

Some people get strange cravings for stuff.
Like some prego ladies get cravings for laundry detergent. or chalk.

I believe that a certain guy in my English class has a strange craving for elephant dung.

Unfortunately for him and fortunately for everyone else, the nearest elephants are locked up in a zoo.
Fortunately for him and unfortunately for everyone else, he found something very similar.
Its a big nasty, triple-decker sandwich with a smell that could kill.

Yes. Everyday during the middle of class he whips out this monstrosity and lets the stench diffuse throughout the classroom. Sad, I know.

I think I found the recipe for his concoction...
First he takes 3 slices of bread that he baked in his armpit...

Then he thinly slices some meat off of some piece of decaying roadkill.

Then he digs up a ball of cheese that he keeps in his dirty clothes hamper and slices off a big ol slice.

I call this sandwich, the bane of my education, but you can call it whatever you want.

My english teach is really great and all but she doesn't. Say. ANYTHING.

I think that she's too in distracted by her love of teaching that she forgets that her students need to be living to teach them.

Oh, and one more thing.
He bounces.
When he eats the sandwich.
He bounces.


I would've put a picture, but it would've turned out inappropriate I think...

Boo?

MyfriendandI were driving home from school when a song started playin on the radio.

My friend had an issue with lyric comprehension.
A funny issue...

Trypanophobia

Hello. Today I'm going to teach you a new word.
Trypanophobia
(Tri-paaan-'o'-fo-bee-ya)
Trypanophobia is one of my many fears. But it seems to be the most reasonable.
Trypanophobia is the fear of needles.

This fear was brought up to my brain yesterday as I was told by my mom I needed a flu shot.
I felt, oh I don't know, like I was going to be murdered.

Suddenly all the happy things that happened in my life disappeared.
And I felt all alone.
And scared.
And cold.
And alone.

And suddenly I was being wisked away to my doom...

Once I showed up at the ''clinic,'' a ''nurse'' took me to a ''room'' and sat me down to get ready for the shot.

I thought about offering her a bribe to just let me go home and forge the records.

*feel free to substitute the words "torture chamber" "executioner" and "grave"

So anyway, I decided my best option was to hold my breathe and look away.

She touches my arm and says, "you need to relax honey."

"Sorry," I say. On the inside I'm thinking, "I'm going to rip your face off."

Then I heard her grasp her needle....

After that, everything was a blur. I'm pretty sure that I'm lucky to still be alive.
The damage is done, and I'm still recovering.
Its mostly emotional damage.
Don't worry, I'll be ok.

Clutz

Today at school I had a beautiful lunch. It was a savoury chicken and spaghetti thing and I was super excited to get it ate.
I wanted to eat it in the nature so I was leaving the cafeteria.

When suddenly I was attacked by one of the doors.

As my lunch fell to the floor and proceeded to spill on said floor, I was filled with a burning rage of hatred for all doors in the world...

I took a deep breath and then stared down with disgust at my ruined meal.
All I saw was dissappointment...

So I felt terribly dismal for about five minutes. That's when my friend Savannah was betrayed by her hands and dropped her lunch too!

When one person is a clutz, its embarassing. When two people are, its hilarious.