Okay, here's the thing. Growing up, I've always completely hated public restrooms. If I don't feel like my bladder is going to explode at the given moment, I will generally avoid using them. It's not because they are too dirty, (although in some cases this is true). Its not because I'm afraid of being assaulted by some random creeper hanging out in one....I mean...I am afraid of that.....but you get my point. No, I think the reason that I don't like public bathrooms is because they are embarrassing.
Call me strange, but I find the deadly silence of public restrooms completely numbing. Its as if I don't dare to do anything, because I will disturb the peace. And you know what? I don't want to hear anything that goes on in a bathroom. Nobody likes bathroom noises.
And nobody likes making bathroom noises, so we all continue to sit there in our stalls, looking at the shoes of the person next to us, waiting for them to exit. When its clear they're going to be a while, you don't want to sit there awkwardly, so you pull on the toilet paper roll and clear your throat a couple times. If they still don't depart, then you just get up and leave and come back in thirty seconds, because guess what? The INSTANT you leave the bathroom and the person still in there is alone, they will do their business and be done. Likewise, you will go in as soon as you see them leave to complete the mission.
My theory here is that we are all to freaking afraid of being heard. The thing is, the solution is so simple! All that has to be done is for some other noises to be inserted into a restroom. Put freaking radio music coming from the ceiling, who doesn't want to listen to Gangam Style on the porcelain throne? Or maybe they could play some jungle ambiance.
Can you just imagine? You don't have to listen to the footsteps of people coming in, or the bodily sounds of the guy in the stall next to you. Just close your eyes...and bam! There's a freaking baboon! Look above you, yeah that's right, those are toucans.
There just needs to be something in the background to get rid of the completely dead silence in the room. I mean, it echoes for heaven's sake! They might as well hook microphones up to the toilet so that everyone can hear everything.
But hey, its just me. If you're one of those people who just "goes with the flow," then you can just continue on with your life. Don't mind me, I'll just wait in the stall until you leave.
